Images in my mind

Eagle Mountain, Utah

I've never been much of an artist. I can draw well enough if I'm willing to spend the time, but only if I have something to look at. Yet I've always had these images in my head with no satisfying way to get them out. For a while I played with magazine cut outs, making collages of images I found interesting, juxtapositions that said something to me, even if they seemed nonsensical. But still, this wasn't quite right. I wasn't putting the images in my head into solid form, I was simply arranging the images in my hands in a way that was pleasing and meaningful to me. I've hoped for a while now that photography could be that outlet for me, that method of making real the unobtainable visions that float through my mind.

While trying to fall asleep about a week ago, I started seeing these images more vividly than usual with more emotion and meaning to each composition than I've ever felt before. I was inspired. I had a plan. A week later, I've been thwarted by the weather at every turn (snowstorms make for poor portraits...) and the one attempt I've made at putting these images into digital form was less than satisfying. Fear not, though. I do not give up so easily. Perhaps my methods will have to change, and my technique will have to improve, but I will manifest these images one way or another. In the meantime, I have but to practice and learn. I've got a few techniques I want to experiment with as soon as I'm able.

By the way, my updated website has been loaded. There is a minor problem of aesthetics with the thumbnails in some galleries, but I'm working on that. Overall, however, I'm pleased with the modifications. The portraits section contains a gallery that I will continue to expand as I increase my portfolio. Also, I'm scheduled to display some of my art prints in the Co-op (upstairs cafe/art gallery) in May.

Chasing passions and buying shoes

Aberdeen, WA

I love the rain. I hope I will always love the rain. I have long since accounted my near spiritual emotion towards rain to having grown up in the plains of Montana when rain was scarce to the point of being nearly non-existent. I've always especially loved that rain that drenches you, the road, and leaves puddles to jump in. Today, however, I'd trade my left shoe (I have a few extra pairs) for a dry, sunny day tomorrow. See the problem with rain is that it makes it difficult to take pictures. My camera doesn't like the idea of getting soaked, even if I don't mind for myself. I drove down the coast along the Olympic Peninsula today, enjoying the view but unable to take many pictures.

I've rambled before about how I've been chasing my passions. Until I was 24 years old, I always had a goal, a plan. It changed, but it was always there, along some distant path. Once I left on my trip abroad, I had no plan. I had accomplished my current goal. And since then, I've been searching, groping in the dark, for an inkling of an idea as to where I am going. I keep trying to remind myself that the biggest changes in my life have come from the simplest decisions (going shoe shopping for example). The frustration often builds, however.

Of freedom and frustrations

Seattle, Wa

I left home the last week of January, off to wander and photograph and think and do. It had been exactly a year since I returned from Syria. Wanderlust is a powerful thing. It can make you walk away from someplace so perfect, so comfortable, so easy, in search of adventures, daydreams, and unknowable futures. Wrapped up in the wanderlust, it's easy to forget the loneliness and frustrations that go along with those daydreams and adventures. You learn a lot about yourself in those moments, especially the first ones; walking out the door, the first night away, the first time you pick a direction and start driving.

I'm still learning, still driving, and the moments of frustration are well balanced by the peacefulness of the open road, a good cup of coffee (I am in Seattle after all) and the knowledge that I have no idea where I'll be a week from now. I'm heading south tomorrow, along the coast. I figure I'll drive to Port Townsend, sleep in my car in a hotel parking lot, and wake up minutes from the ocean. The ocean has always been enchanting to me. I crave the comfort of insignificance, of knowing there are things out there bigger than me and my problems, even bigger than the problems of the world and its peoples.

In the last couple weeks I've done something like twelve photo gigs, mostly taking portraits of toddlers and families. I'm looking for jobs in Oregon now. I'll go where the work leads me for the most part. I'm in the process of revamping my website a bit, Sydian Photography, and when that's updated (very soon I hope) it will have a portrait gallery on it. In the meantime I've also been posting my favorite portrait shots on a picasa album which I'll link on the right asap. And now, back to my book.

Fiery doom and island life

I'm sick of the news. I'm frustrated with biased reporters and poorly written articles. The quality, not only of the writing, but also of the research put in to contemporary news is severely disappointing. If I read one more typo-filled report in which half of the quotes come from vaguely relative anonymous blog comments or Wikipedia, I think I may spontaneously combust becoming a badly written/researched news report myself. On top of this, half of the "news" in this country consists of which celebrity/politician (perhaps I don't need to differentiate) is cheating on his/her spouse, who's dog got eaten by a coyote (funny, but not news), or Sarah Palin's head wear. Let me make this clear. I DON'T CARE. Perhaps I'm a idealist, but I have this image of journalism as honorable, courageous, independent and defiant in previous times. I want to think that reporters find their way into the profession as a calling to discover and tell the truth of important matters.

To save my sanity and prevent my impending fiery doom, I'm going to attempt to blackout this so called news from my life for a while and live on a virtual island. I'm curious to see how difficult it will be. When I leave on my extended wandering road trip I mentioned previously, I plan to read no newspapers, watch no TV news, and cnn.com, bbc.com, and other sites will not grace the address bar of my laptop. Wish me luck.


P.S. And quit with the H1N1 bullshit already. You might as well warn of the dangers of the common cold.

New Adventure...

So in the midst of an interesting week, I've come to a decision and I'm setting off on a new adventure come January. I've been wanting to travel around the US on an extended road trip of sorts, visiting people, couchsurfing, and taking pictures. While trying to make the decision between being a responsible adult and finding stable work where I'm settled already, or being somewhat irrational but albeit more fun and wandering randomly, I came up with an idea which has sort of made my decision for me.

I'm going to be a wandering portrait photographer... Granted, this is only a side "job" to help pay for gas while I build my portfolio with everything else photo-worthy (or not) that I come across. With the wonders of the internet, and digital photography, I plan on advertising online as I go that I'm wanting to do portraits in ____ City over the course of a few days, for a low sitting fee. I'll then provide my subjects (I like that word...) with a CD of pictures they can print for themselves. To this end, I've been working out how to set up a portable studio set on a budget. A friend of mine came to my assistance yesterday and patiently allowed me to photograph her while shooting the breeze and playing with my lights. The best of these photos are here.

Now I'm just waiting on my kitty companion. O.o

Art shows

I spoke with the art director for a coffeeshop here and I'm scheduled to display my photos there during the month of May. I'll post more details when I know them. Not a bad birthday present huh?

I also have talked to the art director for the Staggering Ox in Helena, and he wants me to bring some photos in to talk to him about when and where to put them. That will have to wait til at least next weekend, however.

Business cards!

So I've been trying to put some effort into Sydian Photography, hoping to turn it from a side project to side income. To this end, I've recently ordered and received my first three canvas prints, and 500 business cards. This is the image used on the cards, though with the name and website written above and below respectively. The back side of the card is home to my rainbow picture. :)

I've started talking to some people at the coffee shops around town looking to get my work displayed as well, and posted the canvas prints for sale on a site called Etsy.com, online sales of arts/crafts/supplies. I'm trying to be realisitic in that photography is a vast market, especially without a real niche. Also, I'm very much inexperienced and untrained, learning as I go but without the finances available at the moment for classes or more equipment. So at the moment, I'm carefully optimistic that I should be able to progress from this being a money drain to at least a sustaining side project where I'm not just dumping cash into my prints and equiment. Either way though, I'm having fun.