I don't know why I jumped...

"I don't know why I jumped, but I jumped. As I fell I could feel the air being sucked from of my lungs." - Adbusters

When I first saw those words, the white text running along the edge of a black page framed by white vines, I understood. I felt a kinship with the anonymous writer. This was years ago, before i ever jumped off that bridge. It wasn't the description of a physical act that I related to, but the metaphor; that exhilaration of giving yourself up to something so completely, on a whim. It's how I felt when I decided I wanted to visit the Middle East while in the bathroom of a San Francisco bar. It's the simultaneous euphoria and release of the moment I decided to give up on my psychology degree in my last semester of college. "Real troubles in life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind the blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday." I think the same is true for the crystal moments, the 180 degree rotations in how you view the world, the epiphanies. That thought is my calming breeze these days, as I ache to jump again. I try not to look for my new path, my epiphany, as I wander from daydream to daydream patiently waiting to be blindsided by purpose and passion.