Definition of a journey

"I suggested that a journey was a kind of story in itself, providing one had the will to read it, just as a story too could be a journey, providing one had the experience to bring to it, and that both found their mark differently in different people." - An Unexpected Light, Jason Elliot.

I just spent twenty minutes searching old journal notes, blog entries and emails to find this quote, as I left the book behind with a friend in Syria 4 years ago. A new copy will be arriving on Wednesday as I think I must read it again. I originally stumbled upon it in a corner bookshelf overflowing with books in this wonderfully cramped used bookstore, itself lodged in the corner of a zig zagging Istanbul market street. Elliot was a young audacious traveler who decided at the beginning of the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan that he wanted to help, to see the war for himself and document it. He managed to get himself smuggled into the country and his tale was a well written, heartfelt textbook of sorts for my own endeavors to understand the Middle East as an outsider.

Rereading this quote has me thinking about the meaning of the word "journey." Before I left back in 2008, every time I'd head down 19th ave on my way to Target or Belgrade it was all I could do not to hit the highway, run, take what cash I'd saved and not look back. It wasn't that my life was bad. I loved it, actually. I had two jobs I enjoyed, was making enough money to save towards travel, I had awesome friends (still do!) and my family was almost all within a few hours drive. But I needed an adventure. I needed a story to tell. I needed a journey.

About the time I returned I discovered another great quote.

"There is a special sadness at the end of a journey. For it is only when you get to your destination that you discover the road doesn't end here after all." - Two Caravans

About twenty four hours after I returned, I itched for another adventure. I needed a journey, I just didn't know what it was. A year later I left again on an open roadtrip, no destination, no plan, choosing directions by the flip of a coin. It was a short lived journey but one which redirected my paths. Fast forward a while and I find myself a semi-proud owner of a Massachusetts drivers license, living in Cambridge, earning my PhD, yet constantly on the lookout for my next plane ticket. And I've done quite well on that count, in a way. Since moving to Boston barely a year ago I've traveled to Montana four times, Utah, Colorado, New York, DC, Pennsylvania twice, and Virginia. I have plans for Utah, Montana, London, and maybe Michigan, Colorado and Scotland as well in the next six months or so. But each trip has been set, planned, short, complete with itinerary and return ticket. I'm starting to crave an open ended runaway, the tantalizing dream of disappearing abroad with no return ticket and a coin to flip.

But when I read the Jason Elliot quote again a new thought struck me. Perhaps "journey" doesn't have to involve TSA, bag checks, customs agents, passports and one way tickets. A little over a year ago I packed up and move from the state where I've lived my whole life, minus travel time, and moved across the country to a city where I knew no one to start on the biggest goal I've set for myself yet. I've learned more about life and myself in the last year than I ever did abroad or in the "find yourself" college years. I've struggled to change parts of me I didn't like and realized that some of those things don't need to be changed. I see my goals getting closer, morphing, and the challenge is wonderfully thrilling.

Perhaps a journey is what happens when you strive to make your life into a story worth telling.